There’s no “cure” for grief but being with people who’ve been there can help.
A series of Grief Cafés offered by Victoria Hospice Bereavement Services gives people in bereavement a chance to share their experience and connect with people who understand what they’re going through.
“Grief can be profoundly isolating,” says Marney Thompson, Director of Bereavement Services. “Bereaved people often feel vulnerable, drained, and disconnected from the world. Grief Cafés offer a warm, welcoming space to step out from that solitude, even just for a moment.”
Volunteer facilitator Rick Styles was used to finding solutions to problems in his professional career. But that’s not how grief works, he says.
“One of the key takeaways from our volunteer training is that grief can’t be ‘fixed’. There’s no prescription for it. Everyone’s grief is different, and everyone’s grief journey is different,” he says. “The best thing you can do to support someone in bereavement is to be there and listen.”
Grief Café participants are encouraged to support each other without giving advice, Rick says. “We often ask, ‘how is your grief today?’”
“People share in their own way and in their own time,” he says. “There are tears and laughter in equal measure.”
Rick’s first exposure to Victoria Hospice care came about when his father received end-of-life care on the Inpatient Unit.
“When I arrived, I found a quiet, calm place. It was really comfortable for me and my sister. The staff were matter of fact about my father’s death, but in a caring way.”
“I didn’t really know what I thought about death, but I was curious, and I thought, well, this is a good place to find out,” he says. “I wasn’t sure whether I was afraid of it, or if there is life after death. I don’t think I had terribly unique questions, but they were front and center for me.”
Impressed by the care team and volunteers on the unit, and aware that Bereavement Services is 100% donor funded, Rick was inspired to join the community support and bereavement volunteer teams.
“I get the sense that the Grief Cafés give people the opportunity to share things they may not otherwise have,” he says. “We certainly hear how grateful people are for the experience. It’s rewarding.”
The biweekly Grief Café is free and open to anyone in bereavement. Learn more by calling Victoria Hospice Bereavement Services at 250-519-3040.