When Heather Fox was a counsellor on the Palliative Response Team in the 1990s, there was no counselling support available to staff, at least not from someone experienced in caring for the dying. So she helped create the important role of caring for the caregiver.
Since then, she has supported countless Victoria Hospice care providers through confidential counselling, workshops on self-care, or simply holding space for staff in distress – after a sudden death, a personal loss, and through the COVID-19 pandemic.
“One of the good things about coming to see me is that I already know half the story,” says Heather. “Staff don’t have to explain what their work at Hospice is about because I’ve been there.”
The compassionate care she has provided for 25 years is supported by our loyal donors. Like Heather, they know that hospice work exposes you to the very essence of humanity.
“You see people when the veil between life and death is thin,” says Heather. “You see suffering and sorrow and anguish, but you also see grace and love and kindness.”
While Heather offers specialized support for hospice staff, her tips for self-care could apply to anyone caring for a loved one at home.
Asking for help is key. “There is no shame is asking for help,” she says. “Asking for, accepting, and receiving help is an act of courage and generosity because you’re allowing somebody else to give to you when you’re the one who is so good at giving. Trying to do it all yourself is not realistic, nor is it healthy or sustainable.”
She also stresses the importance of ensuring your life has joy in it. “Take in all the opportunities you can to fill yourself with life, laughter, music, good food, good friends, solitude, dancing, nature, whatever fills you up.”
Heather is filled with joy when she thinks of her time at Victoria Hospice and the people she has served. “I love this work and I could weep with gratitude for the chance to do it.”