When Carol Poole was admitted to Victoria Hospice, she told the care team, “I came here to live.”
The centre of every party with an infectious laugh, Carol loved to dance and was the queen of all jokes, her mother Marjorie Poole says. “She was very bright, tender-hearted, loyal, and artistic—dramatic, fun, and flamboyant. A maximalist!”
Along with decorations that helped make her room a home, Carol brought a deep desire to be with the people she loved. Hospice became her gathering place.
Carol and her family hadn’t been close for a few years, but her sons, parents, and friends convened at Hospice. The world Carol created in her vibrant hospice room gave everyone a space to reconnect.
“It was a safe, neutral place where we could come together, a space that held no emotional history and allowed us to be on an equal footing,” Marjorie says.
“If I had lost her without having a chance to grow close to her again, I don’t think that wound would ever have healed. But we did have that time, and it was funny and loving and sacred. And I’m okay.”
Unit Counsellor Beth Burton-Krahn says the relief of having the basic challenges of daily life handled and coming together on common ground sometimes makes it possible for loved ones to connect in ways they hadn’t before.
“One of the unseen gifts of being a patient on the Unit is how the constancy of care and support with daily needs, along with emotional and spiritual support, can allow for healing and reconnection to happen,” she says.
The gift of time
Carol and her family also experienced the gift of time in a way they hadn’t expected.
“From the time Carol was diagnosed, the doctors kept saying, ‘Oh, she can only live a month, maybe two.’ We were always just expecting it, but she kept living,” Marjorie says. “She wanted to live, and she wanted to connect with her boys. She had the time and the opportunity to do that.”
Carol did as much living as she could during her time at Hospice, Marjorie says. She kept up with friends, and they all had dinner at Marjorie’s place as often as possible. When getting out became too challenging, Marjorie brought dinner for everyone to Hospice.
The time Carol and her sons had together was precious, Marjorie says. “We had wall-to-wall boys here.”
“They had a lot of fun together—a lot of laughing and teasing and it was good. She was very grateful to have the chance to get her boys back. They were there for her.”
Dr. Fraser Black says the way Carol focused on the joys of living inspired the care team.
“She was such a tremendous teacher and inspiration to us all about how to embrace what was but also continue to dream and live life in the fullest and most colourful way possible with no compromise or exceptions.”
“Although she knew she was dying, she was also very much alive and made the most of her living. It was almost no surprise to find out one day that she was planning on going sky diving before our next planned visit,” he says. “While the transition to hospice was a big step for Carol, she continued to fully embrace life and with the support of the team continued to enjoy her days and had many new and wonderful adventures.
Surrounded by compassionate care
Being surrounded by the compassionate care team was an essential part of the family’s experience, Marjorie says.
“The team weren’t just doing their jobs, they were kind—and there’s a big difference. They were the glue that held us together,” she says.
“It could have been so awful, and it wasn’t. It was beautiful. I’m forever grateful for all the help and support we had. It made a huge difference—all the difference.”
Toward the end of her life, Carol recorded a message for her loved ones.
“I just love you all so much. I’m a really lucky person. I’m rich in so many ways that money can’t touch. I got to be in the best possible place on Earth. Honestly—I’m so lucky to have this place, these people, all of you. There are many more things I can count in my favour than not. I love you.”
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