Celebrating Doreen Borden
Mom was a practical person with a nursing background. She loved to laugh and was always up for a practical joke. She found the good in people, always. One of her favourite things to do was sneak Christmas stockings to folks who were alone. She would have fun items wrapped and stuffed full in the stocking and then drive around in the middle of the night with our father on Christmas Eve and hang them so the receiver would see them from the living room window on Christmas morning and know they were thought of and loved.
When she got the diagnosis, she wanted to be at home. Dad was going to be the point person as mom’s primary care giver.
Hospice offered us a holistic approach to this monumental yet precious task of showing mom how much we loved and supported her and her decision. The care team educated us about the meds she would need as well as practical end-of-life care. Our hospice nurses were sensitive and made sure mom’s wishes were honoured. They did this by asking us a lot of questions about who she was and who we were and what we all hoped for by way of support. They also educated us about how we could support dad in his role too. They never complained about repeating an answer and were respectful of our religious beliefs as well. Regardless of personalities and family dynamics, we all felt respected and valued through this process and we each had our own place in her care. The progression of the end-of-life care was delivered with gentleness, compassion and in a timely manner. It was never a tidal wave of information, but a slow continuous stream given as needed so that we weren’t overwhelmed.
When our role as primary and supportive caregivers were no longer needed, the nurse was respectful of the time we each needed, void of conversation, before we moved into the next steps. They let our rendered hearts lead us. We are all grateful for the respect, privacy and quiet calm extended to us when we were at our most vulnerable.
From Nancy and Brenda Borden